It’s Friday evening, you’ve just slaving all week in a job you may or may not like, and you’re wondering what to do tonight. Your friends are in the midst of pre-gaming for a night out at the club, but let’s face it… it gets old. The majority of what we do in our lives, somehow and someway, all lead to sex and dating. Why do we have or prefer good jobs? Not just to support ourselves, but to attract (and keep) good mates. Why do we dress and look nice? To attract a mate or stay attractive for him/her.
Keep in mind, I can’t speak for ALL bachelors out there. The information I am about to divulge is mostly my opinion with a handful of logical and statistical facts, so let’s not misinterpret and follow up with any hate mail.
The world now is much different from the days of past, with apps like Coffee Meets Bagel, Tinder, and Bumble allowing ANYone to hook up with the slide of a finger. In my days growing up, we had to meet girls at school, malls, work, night clubs, or at bars, get their numbers, and woo them into giving themselves to us. It was truly the ways of the hunter. Now, it’s whoever has the most clever opening line in a DM.
Let’s slide out of the DMs for now and focus on the hunt.
Step one: hygiene. Make sure your teeth and tongue are brushed, your hair (head, facial, and the lower regions) is well groomed, and your FINGERNAILS and toenails are properly trimmed. I cannot stress how important it is to keep your fingernails short, fellas. You don’t want to be in a heated, passionate moment on third base only to have her scream in agony and block you from a home run because your nails nicked her sensitive insides. The only good screaming is screaming in pleasure. Trimming your toenails is just good hygiene. Don’t ask me why you should do it.
Step two: Make sure your clothing is neat and tidy. Let’s make it simple… if you and another guy were competing for a girl and she was equally attracted to you, do you think she would go for the person with the wrinkled shirt or the iron-pressed crisp, neat, and tidy shirt? Bingo. The iron-pressed shirt. Women tend to choose men that wear dress shirts and professional wear over men who wear t-shirts… this is a fact. So dress nice and if you are single, do it every day. You’ll never know when the perfect love of your life or woman of your dreams is going to run into you. Or even the woman that you’ve always wanted to sleep with. Whoever you may run into, always make the best first impression. Also, always wear shoes. I have to mention this, as I live in Hawaii, and it’s a cultural to wear slippers outdoors casually. Shoes will hide your nasty untrimmed toenails, if you’re that nasty shit that snarkily laughed earlier about trimming toenails.
Step three: Know your prey (forgive the terminology, I mean that with no disrespect. I’m just finding the easiest way to translate my thoughts into words). We men are hunters by nature. If you feel you’re a gatherer and want to keep it that way, well this post isn’t for you as I’ve been a hunter most of my life. What kind of women are you looking for or are into? You need to KNOW your specific prey. That way, you know where to go to find her, and how to sweep her off her feet… or have her rip her own clothes off and jump you, whatever your end-goal is. Let’s say for example, you’re hunting for a lion. You wouldn’t hunt for a lion in the North Pole. You wouldn’t find penguins in the Sahara. If you want a good girl that you’re trying to wife up, then your chances are better NOT visiting a bar or club. If you’re looking for a quick lay or short-term fling, then yes, hunt in a night club, bar, or a rave. Find yourself a rave bae. To each their own, no judgment.
So now you know your prey. Let’s, for lack of knowing each other, say that your ideal prey is a good girl you want to wife down (don’t worry, there will be another blog about one night stands and flings). If you are not going to school/college or are not employed at a workplace accommodating a plethora of women age-appropriate to your tastes, then you’re going to have to get hit multiple watering holes that your ideal mate would frequent. Who is your ideal woman? Does she like live bands? Well, I’d suggest that’s one of the places you check. It does not necessarily mean she will definitely be there, she could be anywhere… which brings me to my previous point, ALWAYS dress nice.
Step four: The approach. Your first impression is always what sticks forever. You want your first impression to be strong, since you’re trying to keep this woman forever, or for a long time. The most important keys you need to remember more than anything are:
1) smile, 2) be confident, and 3) open body language.
Would you want to talk to a girl that doesn’t smile at you? It works the same way for them. Confidence will take you all the way through the entire relationship. I’ve seen tons of surveys given to women regarding what they find most sexiest in men. Confidence has always been MOSTLY #1, sometimes #2, and rarely #3, of a bunch of other listed traits. I have never seen it lower than 3 in ranking. If you don’t have confidence, I promise you that there is one way and one way ONLY to develop SOBER confidence (self-explanatory… meaning you are not drunk). That is by practice and practice alone. Your social and flirting skill is like a muscle, you have to train it and maintain it. I’ll be honest with you. I haven’t always been confident and I needed a little help. I drank. BUT, take it from someone who has learned from his own mistakes… don’t drink too much.
No prime woman wants to be hit on by a man enveloped in the dank musk of alcohol. If you need a little confidence boost, just have a drink or two, but only in appropriate places. Now let’s move on to open body language: don’t cross your arms, don’t put your hands in your pockets, make eye contact, and the front of your body should be facing her. Crossing your arms makes you look closed off and women see this is a man who cannot be vulnerable. Don’t put your hands in your pockets as it looks like you’re hiding something. Make eye contact because it shows you’re transparent and into this person. Your body should face hers as much as possible for the same reason. Yes, these are the same habits you should have in a job interview as it goes a long way. So from there, you can take off your virgin training wheels and see how well you do.
Remember, you’re making a great first impression… and the more you do it, the better you get at it. That I can promise you. You’re a MAN, so act as one. Remember to be an alpha. If, God forbid, you are turned down, don’t think that you lost her. Truth is, she lost YOU. That is one of the greatest piece of advice I can give to anyone, as remembering this will always keep your self-confidence intact and high. You’re not a loser until you believe you’re a loser. And in the scenario, visit www.fappyendings.com for a very fappy ending. There’s never anything wrong with masturbating. It’s just much better with toys.
I know I mentioned dating apps earlier, but there will be more blogs about the hunt on dating apps in the near future so check back again later. Good luck out there in the many vast concrete jungles!
Fappy Ending 